A Finite Life
by IvoryAlchemist
Summary: [Sesshomaru looked up at the stars as if they held the answers. His face was silver and shimmering in the moonlight. He seemed awesome to me in this moment wise, beautiful and powerful—a God, I was sure.] Nonromantic SessRin, ending improved.


_This story takes place directly after Sesshomaru rescues Rin from Hell (Chapters 466-471), where she died. He was on a mission to strengthen his Tensiega, without realizing it would cost Rin's life. Once he rescued her from Hell, he sees she is beyond saving, drops his Tensiega and says that his sword was not worth the life of Rin. This is the aftermath of her rescue (she was brought back to life by Sesshomaru's mother)._

--

Something seems to be different about Sesshomaru-Sama, though I'm not sure whether it is good or bad. Jaken, interestingly, has been treating me very well ever since I awoke from that awful trip into the Dark Place, as I have dubbed it. He fetches me food whenever I like, he never calls me 'stupid girl' or 'silly human', and he answers almost all of my questions. Kohaku has been keeping a close eye on me too, and I know something must have happened back there, but I'm not sure what. It has been several hours since I woke up, and everyone in our pack seems tired and ready for the night.

Right now, we are headed back into the Western Lands, to settle down under a nice big tree for our supper and bedtime. I feel very sleepy, and so I'm riding Ah-Un, which in of itself is nothing unusual, except that Sesshomaru-Sama keeps glancing back at me and giving me a strange look, one I've never seen on his face before. Jaken sees him giving me this look, but says nothing, merely resting his gaze back on the ground and trudging forward again. I don't know whether to feel special or frightened—what if Lord Sesshomaru is going to send me away?

I avert my attention to more present matters, however, when we arrive at our destination. We are dead center in a beautiful meadow in the middle of a vast forest. The sun is shining warmly, and flowers are blossoming all around me in the warm spring air. A massive, age-old tree is hunched beside a small boulder, it's bushy, gnarled fingers reaching out and offering us lots of cooling shade. I climb down from Ah-Un and settle down under the tree, glad to finally be home again. I expect that Kohaku and Jaken will wait behind with me while Sesshomaru-Sama fetches us something to eat, but this time, my Lord summons me.

"Rin." I look up.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-Sama?"

His eyes move as though he is going to look at me, but stop before he reaches my face: somehow, I know this is his way of watching me. "Come, Rin."

I climb to my feet instantly, my fatigue forgotten. I start to skip towards him in delight—I love it when he favors me—but my legs give out beneath me and I nearly fall before Lord Sesshomaru catches me. Instead of setting me on my feet again, however, he lifts me up into his arms and settles me against his furry boa. I revel in the feel, burying my face in the soft, plush white fur and wrapping my arms tightly about his neck. His skin is warm and smooth under my hands, and I run my fingers along his jaw and down around his shoulders.

I am too happy to be shocked. He _never _holds me except when I am hurt, and surely not in front of Jaken and Kohaku. Something is going on, but I don't care what; I am too wrapped up in the feeling of being snuggled by my Sesshomaru-Sama.

I can feel him turn to face the other members of his pack. "Jaken, stay here with Kohaku and Ah-Un. I will be back shortly." I know Jaken must have nodded, though I cannot see it, as Lord Sesshomaru and I begin to walk into the thick forest.

As soon as we step under the cover of the woods, noises erupt around me. Chirping, squawking, rustling, crunching, cooing, and hissing surrounds my ears in a cornucopia of sensation, and I shiver at the feeling. My hearing is enhanced by my lack of sight—my head is still nuzzled in Sesshomaru-Sama's shoulder. The birds and insects grow still and quiet as we pass, and I can almost feel their eyes following our every move. They sense my Lord's power.

We shift silently up the mountain that the thatch of trees lay upon, Lord Sesshomaru's movements so smooth and gliding I can hardly tell we're moving. Finally, he comes to a sudden halt and sets me gently on the ground.

"Wait here." I hold as still as I can, watching from behind a tree as he stalks a deer drinking out of a glassy stream. Calmly, he walks up behind it, unseen and unheard, until the faint _snap! _of a stray animal stepping on a twig startles the animal out of its reverie. The buck sees Sesshomaru-Sama and bolts in fright, but, in a flash, my Lord is upon him, his body darting seamlessly in the beast's path. I run after them in my excitement, and my attention is so diverted as I watch the stag fall that I don't see a rock in my path and tumble, painfully, onto my side.

Before I can draw in a shocked breath, I feel two large hands lifting me effortlessly from the ground, dusting me off, examining me urgently.

"…Sesshomaru-Sama?" I wheeze, winded and surprised by his anxiety.

"Rin? Are you alright? Have you been harmed?" His voice holds a tightness in it that I am unfamiliar with, and it makes me uncomfortable.

I wordlessly shake my head, gulping. Is he angry? "Rin wanted to see Sesshomaru-Sama kill the deer, so I ran after you, and I fell." I confess softly, but his face does not grow cold and or disdainful. Instead, to my amazement, his lips curve subtly upward, his eyes spark.

He sets me down. "Next time, be more careful." He then steps over to the deceased animal, slings it over his shoulder and begins back to our tree for the night. I follow eagerly—and carefully—behind him, watching his hair flutter and dance in the breeze.

Once we are back at the camp, Kohaku starts a fire as Jaken prepares to cook the meat. The small demon first rips off the hind legs and sets them aside for Sesshomaru-Sama, who prefers his meat raw, and then takes the two shoulders and sets them over the fire for Kohaku and I. Jaken takes the tongue, his favorite part, and a few ribs and sets to cooking.

During dinner, Lord Sesshomaru grabs his slab and wonders off into the fading light, his eyes trained on the winking stars, his face contemplative and thoughtful, as it often is. I marvel at his wisdom and beauty. After eating as much as I can hold, I curl up in my blanket, feeling full and satisfied and ready to sleep.

--

_I'm alone. _It's the first thing I realize. I'm so afraid. I feel raw and exposed and vulnerable.

_I can't see. _Complete darkness smothers me. I am surrounded by blackness—no-one and nothing.

_I'm so cold. _Bitter winds smack against my cheeks, and the chill seeps bone-deep. No warmth. No comfort. Only darkness.

_Sesshomaru-Sama! Where are you? I need you!_

I'm waiting for him to find me, to rescue me, but it has been a long time and no-one has come. Has he finally grown weary of the demanding human? Has he abandoned me to my desolate, lonely fate; thrown me at the doorsteps of the humans who scorned me?

And why would Sesshomaru-Sama, the most powerful demon to walk this earth, take pity on a human? Why would he rescue a hapless, mortal girl who's fate is to die anyway—either now or later. I am not worthy of him. I am worthy only of the awful and lonely fate that awaits me in this dark, cold place.

_Not even Sesshomaru-Sama will save me now._

--

I surface from the terror of my dream to the feeling of warmth and security. Something warm surrounding me, something soft. I feel safe and loved. I snuggle deeper into my savior.

Next, I hear a smooth, low voice in my ear. "Rin, have you awoken?" I look up into the endless eyes of Sesshomaru-Sama. I nod, unable to look away. "You are no longer afraid." It isn't a question, but I shake my head anyways. "What did you dream?"

I open my mouth to speak, and then surprise myself by melting into sobs. Sesshomaru-Sama, however, seems unfazed and merely sits, waiting, as I cry in his protective embrace. When I collect myself again, I look back into his eyes.

"Rin had a bad dream—a dream about darkness. Sesshomaru-Sama did not save Rin…" Here, I begin to sniffle again, but he waits, ever-patient, "and Rin was all alone. I was so scared!" I whimper, and I catch a fleeting expression of sympathy dance over his handsome face. He does nothing, however, except to pull me slightly closer to him. "Why—why did Rin dream such things, Sesshomaru-Sama?"

Lord Sesshomaru does not respond immediately, but tilts his head towards the heavens, watching the stars spark and snap at him. When he looks back down at me, his face is once again a warm, open field and I can see nothing of what he feels. "Do you know what happened to you today, Rin?"

I shake my head.

"You died today, Rin. And I cannot say I did everything I could to help you. I should have been more attentive." Sesshomaru-Sama looks at me. "If it was not for Lady Sayoko, my mother, you would have been lost." His face is unreadable, perhaps contemplative, but as I look I see something I remember seeing only once before: flecks of blood red crimson in the deep of his eyes.

He is now looking at the stars as if they were the ones he had been speaking to. His face was silver and shimmering in the moonlight. He seemed awesome to me in this moment; wise, beautiful and powerful—a God, I was sure.

"Sesshomaru-Sama means to say that Rin…could have stayed in that dark place?" He says nothing but reach down and finger his Tensiega as though he was not aware of himself. I curl my fingers into fistfuls of his white, smooth fur.

"May Rin stay here?" I ask it so timidly it is hardly a sound, but Sesshomaru-Sama hears me.

He glances down and lifts his two long, clawed fingers and sets them over my eyelids, shutting them gently.

"Sleep."

I obey.

FIN.

Please review! It makes me happy inside! AND IF YOU DON'T I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND… no, no, I won't. I'll just cry.


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